How a single question transformed my Sunday Scaries

Now I'm more of a Sunday Posh

With 2025 officially underway, everyone seems to be marvelling at the usual swirl of “firsts”.

The first steps toward a new year’s resolution, the first workout session, the first lesson in a new skill, or perhaps the first fledgling attempt at a budding hobby.

The first dip coincided with the first insufferable post

Of course, as people prepare to return to their professional routines, many feel that first twinge of the “Sunday Scaries.”

For my retired family members and any billionaires reading this, Sunday Scaries is a term for that looming sense of dread that arrives on a Sunday evening, ahead of another work week.

Like that scene in Gladiator 2 where Paul Mescal was about to be thrown back to the lions. I don’t know, did that happen? I watched Wicked twice instead.

Some people let this stomach-tightening anxiety simmer for about a minute before deciding, “Screw it, maybe I’ll change jobs.” So they update their CV, upgrade to LinkedIn Premium and see what else is out there.

Others choose to blow it all up and become a yoga instructor in Bali.

I get it, although I recently expressed cynicism towards the Eat, Pray, Love brand of reinvention which basically says run away from your problems, and everything will magically be fine. Personally, I think that is a bit oversimplified.

But as fate would have it, over the break I ended up listening to a podcast featuring Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love). Fate being, me pressing play and having a working 5G connection.

Gilbert was being interviewed by Tim Ferriss and during the interview, Tim lobbed a question that made me stop and think:

“How are we complicit in creating the conditions we say we don’t want?”

Now, if that question doesn’t feel like an existential kick to the dick, I don’t know what does.

For me, it struck a chord in relation to my own relationship with the Sunday Scaries and returning to work this week.

2024 was a pretty challenging year for me professionally. The market was down, structural changes were up, and I found myself saying goodbye to some close friends and colleagues.

In moments of overwhelm, I drifted into a negative headspace – paradoxical, considering I like to think of myself as an optimist.

I directed my frustrations at those nearest to me, calling it “venting,” though it never truly alleviated my angst. In fact, if anything, upon reflection I feel it had a negative impact on others.

A very dear mentor of mine once spoke to me of “Radiators and Drainers”.

Radiators warm up the room with positivity; drainers, well, they have the opposite effect. As much as I hate cheesy corporate-speak (anyone who says circle back —straight to The Hague) this one is pretty spot on.

w/c 6 Jan vibes

I was acting as a drainer. I had been lamenting my challenges without actively searching for solutions, effectively contributing to my own discontent. I was being complicit in creating the conditions I said I didn’t want.

So I want to change that this year, by calling myself out in these moments, journalling and being outcomes-focused.

Perhaps Tim’s question sparks something else for you – a friendship that’s lost its way, an argument with your partner, or stagnation with a personal ambition.

Whatever the case, it might be worth reflecting on your own individual role in these scenarios – identifying where you might be inadvertently fuelling a raging fire you’re wanting to put out.

Sure, this takes some personal accountability but in doing so, you realise that there are things you can do that are within your control.

And with that, everything becomes a little less scary.