I'm coming out as sober-curious

Pitbull says "Fireball", I say "Enough"

It hit me last weekend.

Somewhere between my work Christmas party and attending a couple of live gigs (then going out after the Christmas party and live gigs), I realised: I can’t keep doing this.

The cycle of drinking, late nights, and marathon recovery is wearing me down.

It’s not the fun moments that are the problem – it’s the 24-48 hours of groggy regret that follow.

This time of year, with endless events revolving around alcohol, makes it almost impossible to step back.

But I’ve realised I want to reassess my relationship with drinking in the new year and put some boundaries in place.

Drinking has always been a part of my life. Birthdays, weddings, work calls during Covid – it’s the ultimate social lubricant.

This was the shape of milk bottles in QLD

And I’m not alone.

We’re in a culture where drinking is the default, and anyone who opts out gets interrogated. “Why aren’t you drinking?” “Are you okay?” “Are you pregnant, or worse… boring?”

Annie Grace, in her book This Naked Mind, highlights this perfectly.

If you’re pregnant or a recognised alcoholic, your abstinence is respected. But if you’re a regular person trying to cut back? Suddenly everyone becomes a sommelier.

And it’s not that I mind. It’s nice that my friends want to have fun with me.

I’m also not anti-drinking. But I’m becoming increasingly anti-what-it-does-to-me-the-next-day.

Tired, unproductive, and increasingly resentful of how much time I lose to recovery.

A few weeks ago I posted about how my body is changing with the natural effects of ageing. And I guess this is part of it too.

So looking ahead and mapping out some goals for the new year, I’ve decided I want to experiment with a system to help me drink and party less and feel more in control.

Not a ban, but a plan to be sober-curious.

Here’s what I’m thinking of trying:

1. Drinking calendar: Set the intention before every event. Map out if I'm drinking and how much and stick to it. This way I can track how frequently I’m letting rip and if I need to scale back.

2. Delay the drinking: This one’s simple. Start with non-alcoholic drinks while everyone’s still sober. If and when the crowd becomes messy, that’s when I’ll crack my first beer/wine/vodka cruiser. This way I should drink less on a night out.

3. Make plans the next day: Book something fun, something I’ll actually look forward to—like brunch with family or a hike (lol, jk). Having plans makes the idea of a big night less appealing.

4. Chat to my friends about it: Let them know that this is an experiment I’m doing for myself, and ask them if they’re up for joining and plan some activities that don't centre around drinking.

This isn’t about demonising alcohol or some grand moral stance. It’s a practical experiment to see if I can strike better balance.

To see if I can prioritise how I want to feel after the party, not just during it.

The real challenge will be sticking to this system when everyone around me is double-fisting drinks and the atmosphere screams “Party!” and Pitbull screams “Fireball!”

But I want to show up for my work, my workouts, and my creative projects in 2025 without feeling like I’m dragging myself through a fog of poor decisions.

So, if you see me at a bar sipping a Heaps Normal, I’m not pregnant. I’m just giving sober-curiosity a shot.

Or, if you have dabbled with sober-curiosity before and have any other tried-and-tested ways to strike more of a balance, I’d love to hear from you, or buy you a drink.